Letting Go
by theonewhowrotetatertots
Summary: Letting Go is hard to do, especially if it's someone you love...
1. Chapter 1

Discliamer: Don't own the NCIS people, just Alison...

Summary: "It's so hard to let go."

Author's Note: This idea just jumped out at me one day and I had to write it...

A/N2: I'm still working on Tater Tots, it's just taking me longer than I had hoped...Thanks to all who are reading an reviewing that one. Please read and review...

Letting Go

"Fire one!" the young soldier shouted to his fellow Marines. Three men raised their guns and fired into the cloudless sky. _Pop! Pop! Pop!_ went the artillery shells as they exploded against nothingness. In the backround, the traditional bagpipers were just beginning to play their rendition of _"Amazing Grace" _a hauntingly beautiful song, yet one military families didn't want to hear. Especially this military family.

Special Agent Tony DiNozzo rested a hand on the shoulder of the young girl in front of him, absently she reached back and acknowledged his caring gesture.

_"This is so hard."_ she thought to herself as the servicemen began to fold the flag that was draped over his coffin. A young man dressed in his navy blues silently handed the ceremonial flag to her, wordlessly she accepted the flag, hugging it to her chest and letting the tears fall for the first time that day. The rest of the ceremony past by in a blur for her that she didn't even realize it was over.

"Alison." came a familiar voice, she didn't have to turn around to know that it was Dr. Donald Mallard, Ducky, who was addressing her.

"He would've hated all this." she said after a moment of silence. Ducky smiled a knowing smile.

"You're right my dear, your father never liked ceremonies, even if they were to his honor."

Alison stared at the still raised coffin, the polished black coffin shone in the fading light. It seemed fitting, she thought, that the brilliant lights of the day were being swallowed up into nothingness as soon as they touched the coffin.

"Allie?" Special Agent Kate Todd walked over with Tony, Tim McGee and Abby Scuito trailing behind. They sat down in the chairs that were still placed in rows under the green striped tent-like gazebo. A simple white cross rested nearby, waiting until the undertakers lowered the casket into the ground and covered the gaping hole with fresh earth. The cross, bearing his name, would be erected sometime this week.

"I don't want to leave this place." Alison sighed, resting her head on Tony's shoulder. Abby gave Alison's hand a squeeze. "I feels like, if I leave, then this will all be real, you know? It feels like I'm dreaming some horrible dream and if I stay here long enough, I'll wake up and my dad would be okay." Her lower lip began to tremble and she bit it, willing herself that she would not break down here. But the tears came anyway, sliding down her cheeks in a mocking fashion. They splashed on the flag she still held, and burned her eyelids. She let out a choking sob. Tony wrapped his arms around Allie's shaking form and held her while she cried. The others looked on sadly, wishing they could do more for their boss' daughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine, only what's original

Summary: Chapter Two

A long while later, when Alison's sobs weren't so wrenching, and her tears were dried, the small group of people left the cemetary. The night was cool now, due to the drizzling rain that had supressed the humidity of the day. Kate had offered a ride to Ducky, the older man accepted and bid a sad farewell to Alison as she headed for Tony's car. Alison declined the funeral home's offer for a limo service to pick her up and take her home. Tony's car was nicer than a stuffy limo anyday.

The drive back to her house didn't take long. Tony pulled his car into the driveway and shut off the engine. Abby and McGee weren't but two seconds behind. Kate would be a little later, as she had to drop Ducky off at his home. He didn't want to leave his 96-year-old mother alone for very long.

The house seemed large and empty when Alison opened the side door. She tossed her key on the kitchen island and kicked off her shoes. She flipped on all the lights as she went from the back of the house to the front. She placed the flag in the window for all to see, but then decided that it wasn't the right place. She slowly opened the door to the basement but didn't go down.

"You okay?" Abby asked her.

"It belongs there, but I can't do it yet." Alison whispered, her tears once again beginning to fall.

"I could take it for you if you want." McGee offered, but Alison shook her head.

"I have to do it." the pretty seventeen-year-old said firmly. She turned off the basement light and shut the door, she would set this flag where it belonged tomorrow.

Alison and the others sat around eating a pizza that they had asked Kate to pick up on her way over. Alison just picked at her food, not really wanting to eat, even though she was rather hungry.

"Do you guys mind if I go to bed?" Alison set her plate down and stood up.

"Go ahead sweetie, we'll lock up." Abby told her. Alison thanked them for everything and trudged up the back stairs, she wouldn't have to pass her father's room that way. She took off the black dress she was wearing and flung it to the floor. As she opened her dresser drawer to pull out a large t-shirt for bed, her hands brushed something. Alison pulled out an envelope that was addressed to her, written in her father's handwriting. After yanking on a t-shirt, Alison sat on her bed and ran her fingernail under the flap. Inside, was a sheet of folded notebook paper. Her blue eyes skimmed the page for a second, before she read the letter in it's entirety.

_Dear Alison, if you are reading this, then I am already gone. I have a few things I'd like to say to you my little Honey-Bee, the first thing is that I love you. I could not have imagined my life any different than it is right now, except that I'd still be alive and that terrorist would be six feet under. That's another story for another day. Now, the second thing is that I want you to be strong, I know you feel like crap and you want to curl up and cry for a long time, but be strong Alison because I know you are. Third, lean on them; Tony and Kate will be you're pillars of strength when you need them. Abby, she'll be you're shoulder to cry on, among other things. McGee, he'll be there, ready to listen when all you need to do is scream. And Ducky, Ducky will bring you back to a time when you felt like nothing was ever wrong with the world and when you and I were okay. And the last thing I want you to remember is; Cry. Cry because you want to, cry because you need to, but don't cry for me. Lord knows I hate tears. I love you my sweet precious Honey-bee, and I miss you already. But I'll be watching you from up here. You're mother says hello by the way. It's funny how death changes people, we're in the same Heaven and have been for a while now and we're getting along fine. You will always be my baby girl Alison Rose, have heart and don't forget to look up here once and a while and see you're dear ol' dad smiling back at you. _

_With All My Heart_

_Dad_

Alison neatly folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope. She lifted her pillow and put the letter underneath and turned out the lights. Tears dripped down her face and left little wet spots on the pillow. Silently, she cried herself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Still not mine, only Alison

Summary: Chapter three

A/N: Short chapter here...

Alison slept until noon the next day. She opened her eyes and got out of bed, ready for another day. She smiled to herself, knowing that her dad would playfully chew her out for sleeping so late. Then a dark shadow crossed her pretty face and she thought for a moment, the events of the past few days came back in a rush of emotion. She looked around the desolate kitchen. The others had cleaned up after they'd left. Alison's eyes fell on the flag that lay on the counter, set aside for whenever she got the courage to put it where she felt it belonged.

"It's now or never Allie." she said to herself as she gathered the flag in her arms and once again opened the basement door. Flicking the light on, she slowly walked down the steps. As she decended down the wooden staircase, a memory wriggled it's way into her thoughts.

_"Dad?" Alison queried as she peeked in the basement. _

_"Down here." came the reply. Alison sat on the steps, watching as her father began to sand down the side beam for his boat. She rested her head on the rail and let her legs dangle from the open side. Her dad sent a grin her way, she smiled back. _

_"It's going to be beautiful when it's done." she said after a while. _

_"Think so?" _

_"Yeah. What are you going to call it?" _

_"Don't know yet. I guess we'll have to wait and see huh?" _

_"Yeah." _

_She sighed again as she watched her dad sand out all the splinter-y patches of wood.After a while, she got up and let him be, leaving a sticky note on the door. _

_"Went to bed." was what it said. _

The girl sighed heavily as she made her way down the steps, her heart slamming in her chest as she walked into the semi-dark, basement. The skeleton of her father's boat loomed in front of her, waiting for it's turn to be finished. Sadly, it wouldn't ever be finished; not the way he had wanted it. Alison stood in the shadows of the skeletal boat and stared for a long while. She wanted to dash back up the steps, but something held her rooted to the spot, what, she didn't know.

"It's a shame he couldn't finish it." came a voice that made Alison nearly jump out of her skin. She peeked around the boat to see a friendly face looking back.

"For heaven's sake Tobias, you scared me." Alison said, still holding the flag close.

"How are you holding up Allie?" Tobias Fornell asked, gesturing to the flag.

"Don't know yet." the teen replied. She looked around the basement and spotted the perfect place for her father's flag. "Hold this for a minute." she said to Fornell. Alison climbed on top of the workbench and stood on tip-toe just to make sure she could reach the top shelf. Reaching back for the flag, she streched up high and placed it up on the highest shelf. "There. Perfect." she jumped off the workbench and stood back to look at the flag. She dusted her hands on her jeans and sighed. Sighing, she sat down on the stool and looked over at Tobias. "I never thought it would be this way." she said, her voice trembling with teary emotion. "I never, in my wildest imagination, thought that I'd have to bury him so soon. I doesn't seem real, you know." Alison turned away from Tobias, tears stung her eyes.

"One thing I know about your father, is that he loved you more than he could ever express. He wasn't big on emotion. Only anger and frustration."

"That's dad." Alison chuckled though her tears. "Do you think he knows?"

"Knows what?"

"How much I loved him, and how much I miss him?"

"Alison your father knew everything about anything."

"That's true." Alison replied.

"Of course it is." Tobias stood up and patted her knee, "You remember what I told you." he said before he disappeared in the shadows from whence he came. For a moment, Alison wondered if he was a figment of her imagination, but she quickly dispelled of that theroy. She stared at the boat, and then looked back at her father's tool box. Inspiration quickly stole over her and she jumped up from the stool and grabbed the sander from the box. Then, with long strokes, just like she had seen her father do so many times before, Alison got to work on the skeleton boat.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Last time I checked I still owned Alison, and not the characters from NCIS, I wish I did though..

Summary: Chapter four

A/N: Another short chapter that skims over stuff, it's necessary though..

"What are you going to call it?" Kate asked, late one afternoon a few weeks later as she watched Alison hammer on the sides of the boat.

"Inspiration." Alison replied. She pounded a loose nail back in place with one whack of the hammer.

"Inspiration? Nice." Kate answered. "How are you going to get it out of the house? It won't exactly go through a three foot by six foot door."

"That took some thinking, and I decided that I'd take it straight up."

Kate looked up, "But you'd have to remove the kitchen floor."

"That's what I was thinking." Alison stopped hammering long enough to glance upwards. She'd have to be careful not to displace any wiring or pipe work that was embedded in the floor of the kitchen, she'd also need help if she was going to get the boat on the water before the cold set in.

It was September now, fall was beginning to set in. The leaves on the trees outside were beginning to turn crimson and gold, a few of them fell from the trees in haste, as if they wanted to be the first to the ground.

In October, the boat was nearly complete, but Alison's dream of having it in the water before cold set in were put on hold. The boat would now be ready come spring. Halloween passed by in a blur, and set the tone for the next batch of holidays, ones that Alison wasn't looking forward to.

At Thanksgiving, every one gathered at Ducky's house for a somber holiday supper and recolections of what they were most thankful for that year. When it came time for Alison to relate what she was thankful for, she stood up and raised her glass of sparkling grape juice and turned to those around her.

"Wow, this has been a hard year. But there are things that I am thankful for, mostly that I finally finished the boat my father couldn't." the teen said, chuckles were heard around the table, "I'm also thankful for all of you. You've been just what my dad said you'd be. Tony, you and Kate have been my pillars of strenght and the ones who held me up when I felt like curling up and crying all day. Abby, you've been my best friend and my shoulder to cry on when I needed you. Tim, you've been there for me when I needed to scream and just get mad. You're unflinching support and kindness have gotten me through some dark days." Alison looked at each person as she addressed them. Finally, she turned to Ducky. "And then there's Ducky, oh Ducky." Allie began to cry, "You will never know how much your stories about my dad mean to me, especially now. You are an invaluable resource and completely necessary in helping me heal. I thank you and love you all from the very tips of my toes. So, yeah, thank you guys for being there for me and getting me through this."

No one said anything as Alison finished, they just took in what she had said about them and reflected on these past months.

All at once, Thanksgiving was over and Alison returned home to an empty house. Once again, she climbed into bed and cried herself to sleep.

Christmas came and Kate coaxed Allie to come and enjoy the festivities at the small home the older girl now shared with Tony.

"Kate and I have something to share." Tony announced after the dinner dishes had been cleared away and desert doled out. The party-goers looked up at their friends and wondered what they could have to say. Alison, seeing the smile on Kate's face, spoke up.

"You're pregnant!" she blurted. Ducky, Abby and McGee all laughed along with Alison. Kate and Tony however, remained silent. Their reaction prompted the rest of the team to look at them in disbelief.

"I'm due in the summer." Kate announced, "And we're getting married." Abby was the first to jump up and give Kate and Tony hugs. Alison followed suit. Soon there were congratulations all around and Christmas was full of happiness.

Winter in Virginia went by in a blur. In January, Alison went back to school after her winter break. She also interned at NCIS Headquarters on her days off.

February came and so did a wedding. Kate had asked Abby and Alison to be her maids of honor when she and Tony wed on Valentines day surrounded by their friends and a few family members. One "family" member was sorely missed, though his picture was prominently displayed in the front row.

Then came spring. Alison had the plans to remove the kitchen floor in place, as it was going to be the only way to get the boat out of the basement.


End file.
